Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.”

A husband and wife are having twins, however the husband is out of town. So he calls the brother to please take his wife to the hospital . The wife has the babies and the nurse asked the brother have…

An old Irish farmer’s dog goes missing and he’s inconsolable. His wife says: “Why don’t you put an ad in the paper?” The farmer does. Two weeks later the dog is still missing. “What did you put in the paper?”…

Out in space, two aliens are talking to each other. The first alien says, “The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons”. The second alien asks, “Are they an emerging intelligence?” The first alien says, “I…