Blog Archives

Joke Of The Day, Thursday, January 10th, 2019

I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there’s a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal

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Joke Of The Day, Wednesday, January 9th, 2019

A woman walked into work and was greeted by her boss. They made small talk, and as he headed to his office, he said, “Have a great day.” She thanked him and took off toward the exit. When he asked

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Joke Of The Day, Tuesday,January 8th, 2019

Jim’s doctor tells him he only has one day to live. When Jim goes home, he shares the news with his wife. She asks him what he wants to do with the little time he has left. “All I want,”

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Joke Of The Day, Monday, January 7th, 2019

A woman in labour suddenly shouted “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!” “Don’t worry”, said the doc, “those are just contractions”.

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Joke Of The Day, Friday, January 4th, 2018

Out in space, two aliens are talking to each other. The first alien says, “The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons”. The second alien asks, “Are they an emerging intelligence?” The first alien says, “I

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Joke Of The Day, Thursday, January 3rd, 2018

Men are like fine wine: They all start out as grapes, and it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d want to have with dinner

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Joke Of The Day, Tuesday, January 1st, 2018

John asks his buddy Mike one day “Hey Mike, do you know what a pie costs in Jamaica?” “Pie?” Mike says, “What kind of pie?’ “Any kind,” Pat says, “Apple pie, beef pie, you name it!” “I have no idea.’

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Joke Of The Day, Monday, December 31st, 2018

A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?” The husband replies: “Are

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Joke Of The Day, Thursday, December 27th, 2018

And the Lord said unto John, “come forth and you will receive eternal life!’ John came fifth and won a toaster!

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Joke Of The Day, Wednesday, December 26th, 2018

A man in Ontario calls his son in Calgary two days before Christmas and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”

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Joke Of The Day, Tuesday, December 25th, 2018

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.” The man replies, “And how would you do that?” The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside down from

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Joke Of The Day, Monday, December 24th, 2018

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”

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Joke Of The Day, Friday, December 21st, 2018

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.” The first man

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Joke Of The Day, Thursday, December 20th, 2018

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied. “But where was I

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Joke Of The Day, Wednesday, December 19th, 2018

Question: What do you call an outlaw who steals gift wrapping from the rich to give to the poor? Answer: Ribbon Hood.

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