Blog Archives

Joke of the Day – Tuesday, June 30th, 2020

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog. Doctor: Lie down on the couch and I’ll examine you. Patient: I can’t, I’m not allowed on the furniture.

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Joke of the Day – June 29th, 2020

Wife: “What are you doing?” Husband: “Nothing.” Wife: “Nothing? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.” Husband: “I was looking for the expiration date.”

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Joke of the Day- Friday, June 26th, 2020

Has anyone else’s gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have? I planted myself on the sofa at the start of April and I’ve grown bigger ever since.

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Joke of the Day- Thursday, June 25th, 2020

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say ‘or you’re history?’” The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”

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Joke of the Day – Wednesday, June 24th, 2020

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?” Student: “A drinking problem.”

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Joke of the Day – Tuesday, June 23rd, 2020

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: “Put it on my bill.”

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Joke of the Day – Monday, June 22nd, 2020

Husband: You will never succeed, in making that dog obey you. Wife: Nonsense! it’s only a matter of patience, remember I had a lot of trouble with you at first as well…

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Joke of the day – Friday, June 19th, 2020

A father was teaching his 6-year-old daughter how to unbuckle her seat belt. The daughter asked, “Do I click the square?” The father said, “Yes.” The daughter then wanted to know, “Single click or double click?”

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Joke of the Day – Thursday, June 18th, 2020

Husband: Babe, after work I had an accident. Sabrina took me to the hospital. After various tests, they said I was in a bad state with cervical dislocation, multiple facial injuries. Also, they will have to amputate my right leg.

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Joke of the Day – Wednesday, June 17, 2020

My friend reviewed her young son’s fill-in-the-blank homework. One line: “At Christmas, we exchange gifts with ___________.” His response: “Receipts.”

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Joke of the Day – Tuesday, June 16th, 2020

A man say’s to the mailman: This empty envelope must be from my sister Charlotte. Mailman: Now why would she send you an empty envelope? Man: We had an argument, and she’s not talking to me..

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Joke of the Day – Monday, June 15th, 2020

Bob took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow. “Ooh,” said the presenter.“ This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists, who operated in London at the turn of the last century.  Do you have

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Joke of the Day – Friday, June 12th, 2020

Little Johnny: I’m not going back to school anymore. Mom: Why not? Little Johnny: On Monday the teacher said that four and four make eight. On Tuesday she said six and two make eight. Today she said five and three

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Joke of the Day – Thursday, June 11th, 2020

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an

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Joke of the Day – Wednesday, June 10th, 2020

Two guys are talking about their boss’s upcoming wedding. One says, “It’s ridiculous, he’s rich, but he’s 93 years old, and she’s just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?” The other says, “Well, we have a name for

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